If you’re going through a marriage problem right now, or have just gone through one, or are going through a major life transition, you might want to read this. The Context: Spirituality. I would like to begin by pointing out that the lens through which we discuss crisis is through spirituality. Not religion, but spirituality. … Continue reading The Best (But Most Counter-Intuitive) Tip When Going through a Marriage Crisis
Divorce Lawyers Give Relationship Advice
https://youtu.be/eCLk-2iArYc People get into marriage not knowing that they have just made probably the most important decision in their life. From a legal standpoint, it certainly is the most legally significant event in your life, which will have a legal effect on you until the day you die (or you end up in divorce)! And so in … Continue reading Divorce Lawyers Give Relationship Advice
If you do it right, the transformation of a woman into a bride or of a man into a groom can be a wondrous thing to behold. Even for just half a day, the couple are transfigured before our very eyes as they process to the altar like fairytale characters vowing to live happily ever after.
The Beauty of An Engagement Is in The Gray Area
by Jean Madrid Note: This was written just a few weeks after Eric and I got engaged. After a couple of months of marriage preparation, we got married and moved to China. Two weeks after Eric and I got engaged, we made a joint decision, which is by far, the best decision we have made … Continue reading The Beauty of An Engagement Is in The Gray Area
The Four Horsemen of Relationships: Predicting Divorce
In a landmark study mentioned in the Malcolm Gladwell book, BLINK, a psychologist, John Gottman studied hundreds of couples and thin-sliced [ref] Thinslicing has been described by Malcolm Gladwell as our ability to gauge what is really important from a very narrow period of experience. In other words, this is an idea that spontaneous decisions are often as good as, or even better than‚ carefully planned and considered ones.[/ref] one hour each of a random conversation between the two. The study's findings were startling: by studying that thin-slice of conversation you can predict with a 95% accuracy who was going to divorce or not. Gottman did this by extricating patterns of behavior--verbal and non-verbal cues, facial expression, heart rates, and fidget counts (how often and to what extent one or both of the couples fidget in their chair). He found out that what happens in just that hour of conversation is sacramental of where the whole relationship is and is predictive of where the relationship is going.
The Husband’s Manifesto
I wrote The Boyfriend's Manifesto some years back. This is its followup. It took some time to write this because I honestly felt I'm not an expert at being a husband. A lot of people have been at this longer and have gone through much more. But I also can't deny that I've learned several … Continue reading The Husband’s Manifesto
All for the Glory of God
Throughout the history of religion, many things have been claimed all for the "Glory of God" - money, power, conquests, success, etc. To be more specific, many "human" desires that were pursued by people "not for themselves" but this is "all for the Glory of God". As if God is this tyrant whose sole objective … Continue reading All for the Glory of God
Productivity Secrets I Learned While On Sabbatical
The month before I got married, I had a long talk with my then-fiancé Jean. She asked me to rest for around 3 months, and just think about what I want to do next. She said that the same thing happened to her when she resigned from her job of 8 years some months before … Continue reading Productivity Secrets I Learned While On Sabbatical