Eric Santillan Blog, society

Five Great Tips to Deal with The Seven Year Itch

Previously, I talked about rebirths and change in another article (check that out here!). This time, I want to discuss the rebirths and changes that happen as part of being a couple — especially couples who go through and have to deal with the Seven Year Itch. What tips can help us deal with this difficult time? Life … Continue reading Five Great Tips to Deal with The Seven Year Itch

Eric Santillan Blog, society, spirituality

The Four Horsemen of Relationships: Predicting Divorce

In a landmark study mentioned in the Malcolm Gladwell book, BLINK, a psychologist, John Gottman studied hundreds of couples and thin-sliced [ref] Thinslicing has been described by Malcolm Gladwell as our ability to gauge what is really important from a very narrow period of experience. In other words, this is an idea that spontaneous decisions are often as good as, or even better than‚ carefully planned and considered ones.[/ref] one hour each of a random conversation between the two. The study's findings were startling: by studying that thin-slice of conversation you can predict with a 95% accuracy who was going to divorce or not. Gottman did this by extricating patterns of behavior--verbal and non-verbal cues, facial expression, heart rates, and fidget counts (how often and to what extent one or both of the couples fidget in their chair). He found out that what happens in just that hour of conversation is sacramental of where the whole relationship is and is predictive of where the relationship is going.

Eric Santillan Blog, spirituality

Gain the Whole World and Not Lose Your Soul

When you have found your happiness, ironically that is when the real trouble begins. That is when the real battle, as it were, for your soul starts. Life is not as easy and as simple as forsaking the world and gaining your soul anymore. Our life in the marketplace and the world of work points us to the possibility of great success and the potential to do great, life-giving and meaningful work.